


As The World Caves In

by The_Dark_Is_Afraid_Of_Me (orphan_account)



Series: Depressing clone wars [1]
Category: Star Wars: The Clone Wars (2008) - All Media Types
Genre: CC-2224 | Cody Needs a Hug, Canon-Typical Violence, Fives and Echo's hurt me physically because of my love for those boys, Gen, Gender-Neutral Pronouns, Graphic Description of Corpses, Heavy Angst, Hurt No Comfort, I Wrote This Instead of Sleeping, I weeped while writing this, I'm Going to Hell, M/M, More pain since the second part is finally out, Okay I'm going now, SIKE, Suicidal Thoughts, Whump, each chapter a different death, fluffy then pure pain, i'M SAD, listen to As The World Caves In, not my otp but i still love them, rex and cody are married
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-08-19
Updated: 2020-08-22
Packaged: 2021-03-05 23:07:14
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 4
Words: 4,447
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25983319
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/The_Dark_Is_Afraid_Of_Me
Summary: Inspired by "If clones died in your arms" Tiktok by Becca_Kenobi. I recommend watching it, I balled. I also recommend listening to 'As The World Caves In' by Matt Maltese.1. Rex: Don't Be Afraid2. Fives: I love you3. Echo: It's okay... I don't feel anything.4. Cody: It's been an honor... sir...5. Hardcase: Heh... :)6. Wolffe: At least you're here7. Tup: Don't leave me...8. Fox: I'm sorry...
Relationships: CC-1010 | Fox/Reader, CC-2224 | Cody & Reader, CC-2224 | Cody/CT-7567 | Rex, CC-3636 | Wolffe/Reader, CT-21-0408 | Echo & Reader, CT-27-5555 | Fives | ARC-5555/Reader, CT-5385 | Tup/Reader, CT-5597 | Jesse/CT-6116 | Kix, CT-6116 | Kix & Reader, CT-7567 | Rex & Reader, Hardcase (Star Wars)/Reader
Series: Depressing clone wars [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1873303
Comments: 10
Kudos: 38





	1. Don't Be Afraid

The shot to his abdomen wasn’t bleeding like a normal wound. The blood was almost black and so thick you could write your name in it and watch it stay. 

It didn’t help that you were both alone. In the middle a stealth mission with no backup. Rex’s eyes kept on you, watching you try to figure out want you’re going to do, running a fine-toothed comb through your knowledge of medicine that you’ve picked up from Kix and Helix. 

The night around you seemed to grow darker as the reality of the situation set in hard on both sides. Your hands cover his wound, maybe putting pressure on it would keep him from dying, you thought as you pressed down like you'd seen Kix do thousands of times before. Rex's yelp echoed through the thick trees around you. His gloved hands ripping at the grass, hissing curses through his gritting teeth. "Haar'chak, Jango jaon'kov! Go easy Vod'ika!" The clone yelped gruffly, arching his back off the ground, trying to move away from you. 

"Stay still, or you'll bleed out." You seethed, frustrated by his moving. Rex stops. His eyes studying your face as the tears trickled down your cheeks. Swallowing hard his hand reaches up to your cheek. Trying to wipe away your tears, but searing his blood on your cheek instead. He should've listened to you when you said this was a bad idea, but there was no going back now. "I can't do this without you, Rex, please, you can't leave me." Tears mixed with blood, dripping down your chin as his hand slowly move to yours, keeping pressure on his stomach. A sad smile crawled up onto his lips, his honey-brown eyes watching you panic over his death, and surely if the situation was reversed he would too. But he couldn't help but feel responsible for this somehow. 

"Ad, look at me. It's okay, really." Rex whispered, his eyes becoming unfocused. "I need you to be strong and finish this mission without me."

"But I'm afraid of doing this alone Rex." You sobbed, holding his larger hand tight in your grasp. His whisper becoming quieter as the seconds draw out. His time is running out now, so what else do you say but I love you to the only father figure you knew. Only being around each other for two and a half years it's already felt like a lifetime. It pains you to watch the light leave his eyes as he breathes his last words. 

"Don't be afraid..." 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Mando'a Translations:  
> Haar'chak, Jango jaon'kov! = Damn it, Jango above!  
> Vod'ika = brother/sister   
> ika=something you cherish or love  
> Ad= Son/daughter


	2. I Love You

Fives was so heavy, dragging his out of the water to the beach of Kashyyyk. You internally cursed his Arc training and heavy waterlogged armor for making this so damned difficult. He fell back with a loud thud on the pebbled ground. His once beautifully dark skin now pale as a bad batch member. His lips are blue, lips that not even ten minutes ago had been touching your own. He was voicd of any pulse. So you try, you try your hardest to bring him back. Starting the compressions just the way Kixy had taught you. Ripping his armor off like many nights before, but somehow this was foreign to you. Not hesitating to put your lips on his, Pushing air into his lungs in hopes of getting him back. 

The memory playing over and over, against your own will the tears start to well in your eyes. 

The middle of the battlefield. His back flush against yours as you fought together valiantly. You may be a Jedi but his brothers knew you as vod, as family, covering you Fives growls. "Where's that damn Evac!" Speak of the devil, your com chirps as Rex informs you it has arrived. You let out an amused snort before turning on your heels to look at your Ar trooper.

"Come on di'kut the LAAT is here like you wanted." You gave an amused eye roll as you both get into the evac. It felt good to be in his arms again, after that shit show planetside. You just wished this moment could last forever, being with him like this. 

The view was like nothing you’d ever seen before. orange and purple painting the expanse of the sky. It was perfect.

“Y’know.” The Arc starts, running his hand over you back a little. playing with the fabric of your robes. “I've told you this a million times before, but I love you.” Fives smiled his signature grin. You had loved him since you met him. He was a cocky egotistical bastard, but Force be damned if he wasn't your cocky egotistical bastard. 

“I love you as well cyare” You replied, kissing him softly. feeling as though nothing could get better than this, that is until suddenly an anti-aircraft blast took out the blast door and half of the evac's backside. It was so quick. You were both sucked out along with other brothers, quickly falling towards the ocean. Where you'd surely drown. Fives never let go of you, staying alarming calm as you screamed in fear. 

Just before you hit the water, you shut your eyes tight praying that this was just a dream. Fives grips you tighter somehow, then whispers slightly next to your ear one last time. 

"I love you."


	3. It's okay... I don't feel anything

The camp had finally been set up. nothing could hide the frustration on your master’s face as he tried to figure out how Hardcase managed to get tangled up in the paracord again. 

Echo sat Laughing with you and Kix while Hardcase hopped around on one foot cursing at Anakin, saying that he could get out on his own but the Jedi was tired of it so he tackled him to the ground starting a wrestling match with the tangled up trooper. 

In the midst of all the laughing, your com beeped annoyingly. A message that the briefing for your next mission was starting in a few minutes. You couldn’t help but groan. Anakin had told you that at all times you weren’t around him you needed a clone escort. Understandable since you weren’t even eleven yet. But it still sucked. 

Echo looked at your com and smiled at you. You’d always adored Echo. He was one of your best friends after all. He and the rest of the 501st and 212th that is. “I can walk you their vod’ika.” He offered his hand to help you up. Gladly you took it. He smiled widely. “Come on Jetti, I’ll race you there.” 

“Eat my dust!” You laugh taking off catching Kix’s eye. He shook his head fondly watching Echo run after you. Loving how much Echo saw you as his own sibling or even child at times. But never did Kix think that love would get Echo killed. 

As you reached the command center you noticed how weird the force felt around it. But you brushed it off when Echo finally came around the corner. “Haar’chak Vod’ika!” he laughed out of breath. Enjoying your triumphant smile. 

“How did my dust taste?” You laughed as Echo kneeled down to your height. A thoughtful look coming over his face. Faux thinking about as he did the Kenobi chin thing. 

“It was, very dusty, but dusty with a hint of dust.” He chuckled while you laughed, his heart swelling as he watched you jump in joy. 

“Dusty dust!” You giggled when you came down from your happiness high. “Your funny.” Echo smiles and stands up his hand holding yours as you both giggled walking into the command center. That feeling coming back again. Like you weren’t supposed to be here. “Echo?” You whispered quietly looking over the darkroom. The mood from before being forgotten as you both looked at the empty center with wary eyes. “Echo?” You repeated. The sound of the door locking in starling you both. 

“Get behind me, now.” He said protectively. A bad feeling burning in the pit of his stomach. 

“Aw isn’t that just sweet.” Her voice mocked from the shadows. You clutched onto your training saber tightly. But you knew that’d never save you. So slowly you clicked Echo’s call button and muted it without his knowledge. He held one arm behind himself to keep you back while his other held one of his DC’s. 

“How sweet of you to think you can protect that padawan Echo.” The woman sneered as she stepped into view, igniting here red lightsabers. Asajj Ventress. Echo swallowed the lump in his throat, coming to terms with the fact that this may be his last time with you on this Force forsaken planet. 

You could feel your master’s panic through the force followed by the sirens blaring alerting that there was a hostile in the camp. Asajj growled as Echo fired at her. The bolts reflecting off her sabers as you duck for cover. You were no match for a sith. Even if you did have a training saber. He moved closer dodging bolts as his other DC came out to play. She laughed. “You are going to die here clone! You’re nothing! You are nothing but a useless toy for the Republic.” she mocked.

“Maybe.” He growled as a bolt came back and hit him square in the shoulder. He fought through the pain and fired back still. “But I am not useless, because as long as I live you will never hurt that child. You will never touch a single hair on their head, and you will most certainly never tell them that they are meant to be something so vile as you!” He yelled taking a step to close. 

You tried to tell him to back away, but it was too late. She had her sabers through him before you could even utter a word. Echo’s face didn’t look like one of shock or pain, but one of defeat. Of failure. The sith was so focused on her victory that she didn’t notice him raise his blaster up to her stomach and pull the trigger. She stumbled back. The two red sabers sheathing themselves as they fell to the ground. Echo collapsed to the ground watching as the Sith grabbed her sabers and fled. 

You crawled out of your hiding spot and ran to him. “Echo!” You cried out as you kneeled next to him. A sad smile on his lips. 

“Hey, Kid. I’m here, you’re okay. It’s okay.” He whispered quietly through reflexive tears. Reaching a hand up to wipe away yours. “It’s okay... I don’t feel anything.” His whisper faltered. You watched as he fought to stay there with you. But ultimately lost, his gaze turning into a lifeless stare. all the light the once lived in his eyes gone dark. All you could do was sit there and stare in shock. You’d never seen someone die up close before. And never someone you loved so much like this. So you sat there until the door the command center was cut into by your Master and a firing squad of clones ready to kill anyone who dared hurt you.

They all stopped when they saw you holding Echo’s cold hand, just stare at his lifeless expression staring back at you. Suddenly so calm, but so sad. You didn’t even bother to look at Anakin when he kneeled next to you saying your name softly, his warm hands touch not even registering in your brain through your shock....


	4. It's been and honor... Sir...

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “When someone leaves your life, those exits are not made equal. Some are beautiful and poetic and satisfying. Others are abrupt and unfair. But most are just unremarkable, unintentional, clumsy. But as long as you remember them, you'll never be alone."

The alcohol stung the back of Cody's raw throat. From screaming his pain away. Screaming at you because you didn't understand how much Rex had meant to him. He sat there, drinking, smoking, doing anything other than thinking about his dead batcher, and failing. Smoke rolled off his lips like the thunder that threatened rain off in the distance of his office. Of course, he was destroyed over Rex's death. He and Rex had practically adopted you when they met you. Not taking your hurt into account he selfishly, drunkenly, took his out on you like some abusive father. **But never laying a hand on you**. He fumbled with the medallion you'd gifted him after his promotion to Commander.

_"What's that Ad'ika?" The commander said, scooping you up from where you stood. Only a little girl at the time. Maybe Ahsoka's age. Maybe younger. Giggling and squirming in his arms you tried to hide the present._

_"Nothing Kote. Just uuuh, a thing." You lied wonderfully. Cody smiled brightly as Rex jogged up the hill to where they stood. His riduur looking like he'd just run the mile four times._

_"Force you're a fast little shit, you know that right?" Rex panted as you burried your face into Cody's chest plate, smiling like the it was Life day and you just got the best present. "FYI they'll leave you in their dust Codes." Cody laughed, throaty, deep, and beautiful. It always made you feel better hearing that man's laugh. Rex moved forward resting his hand on your shoulder as he kissed Cody's cheek. "How's my Marshal Commander?" The captian cooed lightly. Cody smiled brightly._

_"I'm better than I'll ever be with you two." Gods wasn't that the truth~_

The height wasn't too far up from where he stood. Maybe 50 meters up. The whiskey burned slidding down his throat again. Thinking of you. Thinking of everything you gave him and Rex. It hurt to do this to you, but he couldn't take living with his husband. Afterall the war was ending and now clones would be needed after the fact. It was entirely selfish to believe that he might save you from more hurt by jumping now, when Obi-wan his best friend and your master was to be coming around tomorrow morning with reports. He'd most likely have you with him. Another chug of the whiskey made his groan. If it wasn't jumping that'd kill him, it'd be the alcohol poisoning. 

_"Cody? Do you like being a clone?" You asked one evening while nestled between an exhausted Rex and Cody. The latter being fast asleep while he held you close to him. Cody looked away from his datapad with a thoughtful look._

_"What do you mean by that Ad?" He asked, combing his hand through your hair._ _You leaned into his touch looking down slightly, away from his eyes. "Do I like being a clone, as in do I enjoy being a soldier?" You nod slowly. "Well of course I like being a clone. Hell if I wasn't I would have you or Rex or Obi-wan. Yes I hate wathing my Vod leave me, but it's a natural thing, and we we're all born to die. Clone or not." He admitted, leaning his cheek on your head. "How could I not love being a clone when I have everything and more right now."_

_You smile feeling him kiss your forehead. Your eyes growing heavy with each passing second. "I love you dad." You slurred already half asleep, unaware of what you just said to him. Cody blinked for a moment before answering._

_"I love you more than anything Ad'ika."_

_"Promise?"_

_"Cross my heart."_

His com chirped with another message from you. Surely you were petrified thinking this was all your fault. It hurt Cody to think about it. But you are a strong kid, you'll move on. Eventually at least. He was afraid of hurting you any further. He was afraid of you hating him for what he was deciding to pull. Rex would kick his ass into next week if he caught him doing this. Even as a kriffing ghost he might shove his foot up his ass. The thought drew out a small laugh from Cody thinking about how funny Rex was. 

_They were pinned down by droids. All sides as you sat there trying to come up with a plan. Anakin sitting with you spewing out idea with Ahsoka. When Rex spoke up. "Hey, Let's do get help." He grinned at Cody._

_"What?"_

_"Get help." Rex repeated smiling more. Cody frowned._

_"No~" Cody breathed, thinking about what happened when they did it last time._

_"Come on you love it." Rex chuckled. Cody looked at the ground trying not to meet anyones gaze. Because Get help was not something you did in front of your general's._

_"I hate it."_

_"It's great, It works everytime."_

_"it's humiluating."_

_"Do you have a better idea?" Rex asked, knowing fully that he'd won. Cody sighed in defeat._

_"No." He admitted. Rex smiles._

_"We're doing it." The captian smiled._

_"We are not doing Get help." Cody affirmed one last time. At least trying to sound like he wasn't going to anyway._

_~_

_The doors hiss open as Cody hung onto Rex's shoulder. Rex acting panicked he held onto Cody's arm. "GET HELP! PLEASE! MY BROTHER IS DYING!" Cody rolled his eyes internally as he played dead. Stumbling along with Rex's steps. The battle droids all confussed by what was going on. "Get Help! Help Him!!" Rex yelled as he threw Cody at the line of droids. Bowling them over as Rex pulling out his twin DCS add mowed down the rest around Cody who laid ontop of the pile of droids he was just thrown at. You and the rest of the men enter the room. You ran over to Cody asking if he was okay frantically. Rex chuckles putting his blasters away. "Oh he's just pouting because I threw him like a bowling bowl." Cody grumbles a death threat as he gets up. Rex laughs. "Oh hush, you could never kill me. I'll kill you first Cyar'ika."_

Cody choked on a broken sob as the last of the memory echoed in his mind, " _I'll kill you first Cyar'ika._ " the whiskey tasted like veno on his toungue. his com chirping with panicked messages from you now. Maybe others. He could hear Obi-wan's ring plaing along wiht yours. He must be worried now. All he wanted was to lay down and die in peace, but he couldn't do that with you panicking and worrying about him. It sounded horrible, but what world is there to live in when he's lost what he loves must. Along with hurting you. 

"Go Away!" He yelled throwing his empty whiskey bottle at the com. Instead of shutting it up, it hit the call button. Great, just what he needs right now. Human interaction. 

"Commander?" A firmiliar voice said over the com. They sounded half asleep whoever they were. "Commander are you alright?" He said sounding an awful lot like Kix. Oh not good. Kix was a kriffing bloodhound when sniffing out hurt vod. Especially eotionally hurt one. "Cody, you there vod? Are you ok?" Sounding fully awake now the clone could be heard moving around, with another asking what was going on in the background, possibly being woken up by the movement and talking. "Cody?" Cody wasn't there, physically maybe but not mentally or emotionally. He didn't want to ask for help, though he knew he deeply needed it. He wasn't that kind of person to ask another for comfort. He'd always had Rex to just give it to him when he noticed the signs. He could tell Kix was getting worried now. "Cody are you there, is everything okay? Are you hurt?" Hurt is metophorical. Pain is rhetorical. and self laothing is literal. So which was it? 

"Can you tell them I'm sorry... I didn't mean to take it out on them. They never deserved my anger. Please tell them I'm sorry." Kix knew what was going on now. Quickly he could be heard jumped out of his bunk and his feet hitting the floor hard. 

"Cody stay on the line. Just keep talking to me." Kix spoke in his medic voice, sweet like suger followed with a great sabbac face. He knew Kix was panicking now. He didn't have far to run, they were all in the same barracks. But the offices where high over them. "Cody you there Vod?"

"Kix, it's okay I'm fine." He lied, looking over the railing of the small balcony that every office had. Officers offices also had a living quarters if they hose to stay there, which Cody had since he and Rex wanted a private place for themselves. 

"Where are you right now." Kix breathed hard, he must be running. "Cody keep talking to me, tell me whats going on."

"I miss him... So much..." 

"I know, I know you miss him. But It's going to be okay listen to me. I promise it's going to be okay." Kix was in the lift now, he could hear the doors closing. But the pocket knife was already in his hand. He didn't want to be saved. But he also didn't want to hurt anymore. 

"Kix tell them that they mean the world to me. And that I'm sorry." Cody choked out at the blade touched his underarm. The thin layer of skin protecting his veins and artery being pressed in. He could feel Kix's panic now. He knew he was scaring the poor medic, but this needed to be said. "I don't want them to know what I did so I want you to tell them I went in my sleep." The blood started to bead up now, pressing harder the blade cut deeper into his wrist. It didn't hurt much since he wasn't sober or in his right mind at all. 

"Cody listen to yourself vod, do you hear what your saying?" But Cody didn't care what he heard. He knew Kix well, and also knew he wouldn't stop trying to save a goner until they died in his embrace. A small whimper escaped Cody. "Cody I'm in your corrodor. You better be there when I bust down your door." 

"Or what." He dare challenge the medic now. Blood dripping continuously from his wrist, deep slices bleeding heavily. he'd felt the pinch when he cut to deep, he knew he wasn't going to survive this. "Are you going to decomission me?"

"I sure your trying to decommision yourself as we speak, but no, I'm going to help you." The lock on his door unlocked as Kix keyed in his code. "It's going to be alright Cody."

"Nothings going to anything sooner or later Kix." 

"Don't give up on me." 

"I give up a long time ago, I just had my husband to keep me from offing myself." He growled through welling tears, he hated crying. It pissed him off. But only when he was one doing it. 

"Is that it, was that all Rex was to you?" Kix yelled now as the door hissed open. He then saw the mess the office was, holes in the walls from punching them, empy bottles of liquor everywhere, and Cody sitting on the balcony stabbing his arms as his mask cracked entirely. Kix ran towards him, realising his med kit wouldn't help this at all. "Cody no, stop, now!" He shouted grabbed the Comander by his un touched wrist and twisting in shaprly to make him drop the pocket knife. A broken sob exited the commander's mouth as the knife fell to the ground. Landing in the messy pool of Cody's blood. "No, You di'kut!" Cody felt very light headed. Dizzy too. 

"I told you I'm sorry. Please don't be mad with me." He sobbed, Kix cupped his cheeks holding him up when his legs gave out. 

"No vod, no I'm not mad at you. You okay, your going to be okay." He chanted as he dead ifted Cody off the ground. He'd never seen Cody this broken before. It hurt him. 

All of Cody's words became giberish soon after that, just holding onto Kix as he carried him to the med bay. He felt so pathetci as brothers from his battalion and the 501st stared in shock. Watching the as his blood left a trail on the white permacrete. They knew a goner when they saw one. 

Cody watched the brothers as he passed by, his eyes beoming very heavy suddenly as Kix chanted stay with me closer to his ear. He could only imagine it being Rex's voice. Maybe theat'd help to stay. Why did he want to say though? Why was he listening again?

He could see the white walls of the medbay now. Sick brothers watching as the commander is carried by their medic, his blood staining the white tile as they passed by. Kix's talking became hard to hear the closer they got to where ever they were going. All Cody thought about was You and Rex. 

_Rex layed with you in his arms, you slept peacefully as both of them watched the night shift in morning._ _Dreaming about the stars and what they meant._

Cody was laying on a cot now, and you were next to him. Why were you there? When did you get there? Words seemed to jumble up inside his head. Breathing became harder as he heard you say his name. 

_"Amazing grace, how sweet the sound. The save a wretch like me." They sang as the shots fired for him. He watched as they folded his flag. The Coruscant emblem with the GAR emblen int he right cornor. Cody held you close as you sang. Rex had always loved it when you sang. He must love it now, Cody thought as a sneaky tear rolled sown his cheek. Gods he must be laughing right now, wathing grown men cry over him. Hell he must be having a blast. It made Cody smile thinking about it._

He smiled as a tear dripped down his cheek. Holding your hand in his good one the words suddenly starting to make sense. "I'm so sorry for what I did, I didn't meant to make you mad. Please Cody don't you leave me too. I'm afraid of being alone." You sobbed holding his hand. 

"But you're not alone, yeah I may be leaving you. But my caring will always stay for you, as will so many others. I should yelled at you. It wasn't your fault, never had been. I was just so mad. I'm sure you could understand." He whsipers to you. "Be to honest, I'm scared to be alone too." 

"Then why leave me?" You sob. 

“When someone leaves your life, those exits are not made equal. Some are beautiful and poetic and satisfying. Others are abrupt and unfair. But most are just unremarkable, unintentional, clumsy.” He breathes out, feeling his eyes grow heavy. "But as long as you remember them, you'll never be alone." His smile was bright as he cupped your cheek softly. You leaned into his touch. "I was an honor... Sir..." He slurred as he finaly let go. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay so I connected the first chapter to this one, one because I had no idea what to do for this one, and two because I like making people feel this pain. sorry not sorry :)


End file.
